From my dream journal / diary (3-28-08)I dreamt of Micheller B. this morning around 3-4 am, I think. I hadn't been thinking of her when I went to sleep, only that I wished I could get energy in my sleep, so I'd be alet today. I went to sleep arouund 1:30 am, woke from this dream feeling energized and have felt fine all day, despite being sleep deprived for weeks, since I've been addicted to Yahoo Answers. I feel like I did dreamwalk to her somehow. It was weird.
"Lying with Michelle B." (3-28- 08)
- I'm lucid and in a room full of people, too big to be a living room, but comfortable, maybe like a dorm lounge. Most of the people are lying down to sleep on sofas or mats on the floor. I sit down on a sofa. Behnd it Michelle B. is lying down on a mat, with a mostly gray blanket over her.
I say hello to her. She asks me to lie down with her. I want to, but I don't feel like it's right. I'm sort of embarassed. I tell her I have to brush my teeth first. Then I think that if I walk away to look for a bathroom to brush my teeth, I might not find her again. I think her energy is probably low and she needs to draw off someone. I'm glad to be able to help her. I say ok.
I lift off her blanket and see she's wearing a black T-shirt and soft cotton black pants like pajamas or yoga pants. I think this is what she wears for pajamas. She's not wearing glasses. I think removing the blanket has probably let out heat that she needs to conserve, so I cover her back up. The blanket forms a space over her, and I say to her, "It's like a tent."
She seems to know my real name and "calls" me by it when she invites me again to lie next to her. I slide in next to her and snuggle in against her with her behind me. She puts her arms around me. I think I really like this. I feel safe and protected and happy that she can feed from my energy if she needs it. I feel very submissive.
She asks if I'm comfortable and if she can do something to me. I say, "Yes. If I don't like it, I can tell you to stop." She seems a little surprised that I'm so compliant and that I'm essentially negotiating a "safe word". I get the impression that she didn't expect me to act like a BDSM submissive. I get the impression that she didn't expect me to be familiar with such things.
She moves her right hand down over my ass and moves it foreward until it's positioned over my base/root chakra point. I'm surprised and startled by this intimacy. I feel a little surge of fear, then tell myself that fear probably increases the energy she can feed on from me. I tell myself to go along with it and let her conrtol what she's doing. As she hold her hand over this spot, I feel a surge of sexual pleasure that I'm afraid can wake me. I tell her, "No. Don't do that." She moves her hand away for a bit.
Probably at this point I hear a sort of "voice-over" about a lecture. I think she's probably in this town for a lecture presentation. The professor is an older, tall man with glasses. I also hear her voice as she lectures about something. (I've forgotten the details because I didn't write them down as soon as I woke.)
She puts her hand back over that spot again, causing this surge of sexual pleasure again. I try to just ride it out and not get upset about it. She reaches forward just a little, so her middle finger is touching my genital area. I think she's probably trying to stir up and feed off my sexual energy, I feel like it's too much for me. I tell her again to stop. She stops for a bit, but then does it again, stirring up alot of sexual energy in me each time she touches me there. I think this is too much sexual arousal for me, and it's going to make me wake up. I tell her, "Stop, stop," but she doesn't stop.
Then suddenly I wake, feeling perfectly awake and clear-headed, even though I'd only slept a few hours. I want to go right back to sleep to be back there with her again. I want to have the feeling of being safe and secure in her embrace and letting her feed off me if she can, but without the sexual stimulation she was doing to me. I try to go back to sleep, but I don't go back into that dream setting with her. When I do wake around 5 am, I feel perfectly rested and energized.
- So what's with these dreams? Is Michelle B. just symbolic of something for me? Maybe my dream was inspired by having looked at the picture of her above? This dream felt like dreamwalking, but I'd be too embarassed to email her and ask her about it (even though Midi said I should ask her about the previous ones.) She's a celebrity, and I've only met her once in real life. I'm a fan, but I'm not a fauning, irrational fan. (No, she's not my bishee.) I do find her intriguing and attractive, though. Then too, Rune has told some interesting stories about her that make her seem even more fascinating. - This is just too weird.
Notes on the root chakra (3-30-08)
"The Root Chakra
Finally, there is a center located near the genitals. This is the Root and it is the seat of the sexual force. As such, it can be equated with Min, the ithyphallic fertility principle of ancient Egypt."
http://www.kheperu.org/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=105&mode=thread&order=0&thold=0
"The first chakra, located at the base of the spine at the perineum is the root chakra, muladhara."
"When we cut ourselves off from physical stimulation, we cut off the life-giving properties of the root chakra. Over a long period of time, this denial of the root chakra can lead to physical and/or emotional dysfunction. We will talk about this later in the chapter when we discuss kundalini energy - an energy awakened from the root chakra."
"An imbalance or weakness in the root chakra can lead to feelings of fear of instability, abandonment, and insecurity, as well as a depletion of vital energy. Yet it also controls sensations of bliss, both physical and mental, and fuels the will to survive, to find safety, and to accumulate material wealth. Because of this, it is often associated with one's choice of profession. When, through various forms of meditation the root chakra begins to open and energize, there is often a sensation of heat in the abdomen or third eye area. You may experience heightened emotions or empathic sensitivity when stimulating the root chakra...."
http://raphiem.com/bms/sp_chaklife.php
- P.
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